You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
