The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
