There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My vagina is very pro this idea
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
