After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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