...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
