that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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