Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
