If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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