We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
