i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
