woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
