You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
