it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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