this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
