I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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