Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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