Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
