dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
