I think I am morally bankrupt
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
