What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize