When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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