You're completely useless in the revolution.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
