woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
