ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
