Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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