Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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