I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
