Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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