no you cant smoke seaweed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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