am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
