It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
