just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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