i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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