Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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