im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
