Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
