Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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