I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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