if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
