I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
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I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
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Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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