dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
