Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
