i need an iv and a liver transplant
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize