All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
