"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
