Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
