How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
