Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
