I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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