I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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