No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
