i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
