dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
