I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
