I'm lost and stupid without you.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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