The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
