hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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