My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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