He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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